Sunday Afternoon at the Deer Lease

By Linda Buckman

Being married of recent to an avid hunter can have it rewards as well as ups and downs, as you will discover as you read, “Our Sunday afternoon at deer camp”.

As Bill and I started out for a nice Sunday afternoon going to the deer lease to check his corn feeders etc I was looking forward to being out and about four wheeling and getting some fresh air and much needed exercise.  Grabbing a bottle of water and he a coke and ice he cranks up the jeep [and it is a real jeep not like the jeeps you see today] and off we go only to be about half way there when I feel the  call to mother nature and upon telling him he replies I’ve toilet paper in the jeep and you can go in the woods. That was not what I wanted to hear and I tell him, “I mean I have to sit down I if you know what I mean???????????.” He replied, “Well we have an old outhouse, but you would be better off just going in the woods”. I quickly reply again, “I cannot go in the woods; I have to have something to sit on!!!!!”  “Well you just wait until we get there and you will see”, he explained.  After encountering many muddy patches on what they call a road, I finally see relief  through the clearing coming up.  As we approached the cabin I was on go, but relief was yet to be ,and a long time coming.  First of all my knight in shining armor wanted to check it out for varmints I assumed, and of course, tidy it up a bit.  Following him closely and watching him clear the way for me, I was so proud it was not too bad, not great , at least I could have a seat.  After he came out I started swiping at some missed spider webs and decided to swipe the lid on top and under just in case a spider might be lurking in an unseen place.  After running paper towel over the seat, I slowly raise the lid and as I leaned over I heard something fall.  It was my only pair of glasses, and yes you guessed it, they fell into the hole- “THE OUT HOUSE HOLE”- the “Pit”.  The moment was dramatic, what to do now?

Of course my knight in armor was close by, and as I peeked around the corner, ever so meekly, I softly told him where my only pair of glasses were.  YOU TALK ABOUT A KODAK MOMENT, if there ever was one, the moment was at hand.   As I look back now, I would give a mint to have his expression caught on film.   It was priceless!  As he swiftly walks away muttering something, I told him that we can’t get them out. “I don’t expect you to do that”, I whimpered.  In amongst more muttering, his reply was that he would try (while I was thinking I wouldn’t want them after where the fell anyway).  But, the pit was not deep and there was not anything in it (at least that we could tell, and why should there be, most men probably go in the woods.

 Just a suggestion, always be prepared when going in the woods. Who know what may happen.